I seem to have gotten myself into a lull where I find myself to be utterly uninspired and creatively blocked. Oftentimes when I get into these creative slumps, I tend to notice more anger and resentment in my self-talk and I begin to view myself in a more negative fashion, telling myself how “lazy” I am or how “boring” my life must be because I can’t seem to “get it together” to write a simple blog post. I recognize how incredibly emotionally abusive this is for my self-esteem and self-worth. Setting goals and giving myself creative projects to accomplish was a personal goal of mine; this blog was my goal, writing creatively was my creative homework. Writing and creating is therapeutic and makes me feel accomplished. So, naturally, it was easy to be down on myself when I sensed that I was “failing” at blogging.
However, I don’t blame myself or anyone else for this because that would be unfair.
This blog is meant to be a creative release in which I share my thoughts, feelings, creative ideas and personal beliefs on health, happiness and spiritual growth, not an assignment with due dates and consequences. This blog was meant to be an ongoing and exploratory endeavor.
I shouldn’t even feel the need to have to write about creative slumps; however, I believe that it is important to discuss how much these lulls can affect us and make us feel. It is easy to get depressed and feel worthless in the shadow of what we consider to be a failure. Failure is a daily part of our lives. The good news is, however, that we learn some of our most valuable lessons from experiencing what is feels like to not be at our very best. It is also emotionally okay to take a creative hiatus because we cannot always be “on” all of the time. Sometimes our hearts and minds need a break and sometimes, we NEED to listen to that.
I therefore should not feel bad about “slacking” because I wasn’t. I simply just wasn’t creatively present enough to produce exciting content that I knew I would be proud of. I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to create posts that people would want to read (and yes, that is still a part of my goal for this blog). But, I believe that because I was focusing all of my attention on what others wanted, I lost my sense of identity in my creativity and thus, felt lost in my content.
We all can learn from our personal mistakes. What I have learned from being gone from my blog for so long is that I miss writing. I really do. I want to write about the topics that make my heart beat faster with enthusiasm. I don’t want to half-ass my posts just so that I can get a post up “on-time”. I’ve also learned that it is okay to not always go, go, go and to not set high standards that you can know you could never accomplish even if you became Super Woman and grew eight arms and two more brains. I want to get back on the creative band wagon in the most respectful way that I can for myself; I need to give myself time, love and space to create heartfelt and genuine content without this pressure that only I put on myself.
My love goes out to all of you creative souls, whether you’re also in a slump or not (and it’s 100% okay if your are). I leave this post with some beautiful photos I snapped from my recent trip into the frigid Colorado Rockies because, well, they make me happy and I hope they make you happy too.